LAURA CARTLEDGE: Service as usual – or is it? Working out what puts the real in reality

BOO to the government’s half-baked education scheme. Woo to everything else baked.

It’s like I am really here, isn’t it?Only I am not.

I’m more likely to be wearing wellies and visiting a friend’s pigs, beating the crowds on a during-the-week visit to Brighton or other less exciting things like sorting out my phone contact and getting my eyes tested.

That’s right... I’m on holiday.

I know, I didn’t need to tell you, but I wanted to. To be honest, it’s really hard coming up with something to write about a week early. A lot can happen in a week.

I’m not talking flying cars or world peace... but I am keeping my fingers crossed for both. However it did get me thinking about what is real.

Reality TV has a lot to answer for. All ‘constructed for entertainment purposes’ and product placement means you can’t even trust the beverage they are enjoying is the one they would choose. More likely it won the bid to appear.

It’s hard to know where to start, or where it ends, but I suppose that is the point with fakery.

Take celebrity magazines. No seriously, please take them. If I see one more piece that quotes a nameless, faceless ‘friend’ or says ‘our source’ in order to turn rumours into front pages, I may go a little loopy.

Yes, they have their place... seemingly it is all over the convenience stores... but I can’t help but think it is such a waste.

Imagine if the efforts put into circling someone’s – ‘shock horror’ – double chin/receding hairline/post baby body were used for good?

Then there are smoky bacon crisps. Suitable for veggies, don’t you know, whereas cheese and onion aren’t. Perhaps this is a bit of a Matrix moment and ignorance is bliss.

Either way, it is nice to have a break.