LAURA CARTLEDGE: Snoop all you like but there isn’t much to see... apart from food

I tied to resist writing a Christmas-related column this week.

Honestly I did.

I even had a topic picked: the Draft Communications Bill. Which wants to monitor, well, our communications.

Basically listen to our voicemails, read our texts and generally know what we have googled.

I know, it is not particularly festive, but that was the point.

After all I am pretty sure that we all know Christmas is coming.

The clues are all there – the fizzy-drink train has been on its way since November, X Factor will probably top the charts this week, everything has tinsel on it, and getting post is enjoyable for a change.

So I wanted something different.

And thought an interesting debate on where we should draw the line between privacy and security would work.

I could discuss whether it would help combat terrorism (which is the reason they are giving) or result in more private documents being left on trains by hapless politicians... Sadly, I think we all know the answer to that.

It got me thinking about my own internet use and what the government would find if they snooped on me.

I came to the conclusion they would probably be left bored or hungry, seeing as the only thing at risk from the websites I visit is people’s waistlines.

Which brought me back to Christmas again.

Mulled wine and dark chocolate cake, gingerbread house biscuits and spiced apple sauce will all be made, and eaten, in the next few days.

But then again, would looking for chocolate BOMBS and cookie CUTTERS get me put on the naughty list?

How on earth they would sieve through all the data to find the bad guys is beyond me.

Plus I am pretty sure people who are capable of planning horrible acts know how to get around such things.

All in all I think it might be nicer to write about Christmas.