Tall Trees help with private fostering

She found it when she moved in with the family of her best friend and started a new life in Bexhill.

Private fostering is the term used for when children are cared for by relatives or friends.

Supporting them in this is NCH Tall Trees, a partnership between the former National Children's Home and East Sussex County Council.

Tall Trees ensures that they receive the necessary support and benefits, allocates a support worker to advise the young person and new family on practical and emotional matters, mediates between the actual parents, and offers guidance.

Gemma is a 15 year old who was living in Ore - she was a pupil at Helenswood school where she met her friend Christina, otherwise known as Buby, who is 16.

Gemma's parents had split up and she was living with her father, younger brother and sister.

She was affected by what happened during her childhood and believes her father didn't understand or accept her.

Gemma said: "I never got on with him. I felt singled out and left out because he didn't want to know me. I felt he loves my brother more than me...that he doesn't love me at all.

She stayed with her father for one and a half years, a time so difficult for her that at one point she attempted suicide.

"I felt lost and a bit lonely. I just wanted to be on my own all the time...I sat in my bedroom on my own. I didn't really want to live.

"I was not allowed out to go to town with friends. If I disobeyed and did it, I would come back and get shouted at, and that."

It was at this low time that she met Buby, the friend she now thinks of as a sister.

"First of all - Buby absolutely hated my guts. Then we just started talking one day and we became close ever since.

"It was not really my idea to move in here...it was Buby's."

Having got to know Buby's parents, Teresa and Steve Cannon of Sidley Street, Gemma has settled in and now sees the family as her own. And it is a big one - they don't all live at home but Teresa is mother to Shane, Adam, James, Lisa, Kelly, Sarah, and youngest Kyle as well as Buby, and Steve has two other children also.

It started with Gemma staying for weekends and then as the move became permanent, Tall Trees received a referral from Gemma's school and helped her settle in. Gemma's father did not want to let her go, and Tall Trees helped him and Gemma's mother also to come to terms with the change.

Case worker Rebecca Robinson is in frequent contact with the family and has even helped Gemma apply for a place at Hastings College - she is going to start a childcare course in September with the ultimate aim of setting up her own multi-skill centre for youngsters needing help. It is also her wish to find the older brother she never met - his name is Jamie and he is 18 years old.

Gemma said: "Before, when I lived with my family, I didn't really have a life. And I thought that would be forever.

"I felt there was something that was missing."

She has been with the family since January and appreciates the change in her life which has allowed her to relax and enjoy the bustle of family life.

She said: "There are some very nice people. I feel very lucky."

NCH Tall Trees Project Manager Suzanne Crawford said: "NCH knows that many arrangements of this nature can be very complex and could often do with a helping hand. Be it a grandparent carer, or somebody who has taken in their child's school friend, we urge people to pick up the phone and find out more."

Alongside its work in the family home, NCH Tall Trees, which was set up in 2006, also offers a crisis response service to local families, anger management groups for young people and a drop-in service for grandparents caring for their grandchildren.

If a young person under 16 who is not your own child has been living with you for 28 days or longer and you would like some support please contact NCG Tall Trees on 01424 730022.