The Cross Word: What’s under tree for Pompey family?

Despite appearances, Jack Whatmough is not a fan of the above snap of himself    Picture: Joe Pepler
Despite appearances, Jack Whatmough is not a fan of the above snap of himself Picture: Joe Pepler

Christmas is here, and it’s time to get into the festive spirit as we once again in delve into Santa’s sack and see what’s there for the good folk of Pompey. Hopefully, the Fratton family enjoy their alternative presents and we all get the gift of points aplenty over the Yuletide period...

Paul Cook

A year’s supply of Lucozade – so he can ‘just keep going’.

Adam Barton

A gig – and some bandmates to perform with. The midfielder is desperate to find a local group to indulge his musical passions with.

Matt Clarke

Moisturiser. Standing at 6ft 5in and with some healthy facial hair, the defender is the oldest-looking 18-year-old in history.

Adam Webster

A fake beard. Webbo’s a year older than Clarke but his baby face makes him look 10 years younger.

Jack Whatmough

A photo shoot. The defender is always saying the picture used of him in 
The News and at doesn’t make him look the brightest.

Ben Tollitt

A pair of flip flops. Apparently, his last pair mysteriously disappeared at the team photo shoot at HMS Warrior.

Alan Knight

A box of witchetty grubs, so our favourite Lady Colin Campbell lookalike doesn’t miss the jungle.

Caolan Lavery

A Gaelic translator – so people can pronounce his name properly.

Mikey Harris

Work experience at The News. A career in the media beckons if he doesn’t fancy coaching.

Guy Whittingham

A manicure. The Blues legend needed one to sort the blisters after a marathon session signing chief sports writer Neil Allen’s Played up Pompey book (still available at Amazon and all good book shops by the way...).

Ian ‘Moose’ Abrahams

A pie. The talkSPORT man doesn’t like the lack of food afforded the media at Fratton Park.

Pompey fans

A box of pies – to throw at Abrahams..

Gareth Evans

A walk-on part in Zoolander 2. He is a bit of a pretty boy, after all...

Richard Money

A tub of Kalms. The former Cambridge United needed them after his very public meltdown following Pompey’s clash with Cambridge United in October.

Mark Catlin

A day off. The Pompey chief exec has made himself the most accessible CEO in the club’s recent history.

Mike Hurdle

A referee’s kit. Well, he probably has one already but the Pompey fan had to do the fourth official’s job in jeans when he was pulled out of the crowd at Newport County.

Pam Wilkins

A scarf. No matter the weather the PST vice chair is on the Trust bus behind the Fratton End each matchday – and it can be a wind tunnel there.

Barry Harris

A joke book. The Pompey assistant kit man’s material is in desperate need of an update.

Have a very merry Christmas!