Christmas is here, and it’s time to get into the festive spirit as we once again in delve into Santa’s sack and see what’s there for the good folk of Pompey. Hopefully, the Fratton family enjoy their alternative presents and we all get the gift of points aplenty over the Yuletide period...
A year’s supply of Lucozade – so he can ‘just keep going’.
A gig – and some bandmates to perform with. The midfielder is desperate to find a local group to indulge his musical passions with.
Moisturiser. Standing at 6ft 5in and with some healthy facial hair, the defender is the oldest-looking 18-year-old in history.
A fake beard. Webbo’s a year older than Clarke but his baby face makes him look 10 years younger.
A photo shoot. The defender is always saying the picture used of him in The News and at portsmouth.co.uk doesn’t make him look the brightest.
A pair of flip flops. Apparently, his last pair mysteriously disappeared at the team photo shoot at HMS Warrior.
A box of witchetty grubs, so our favourite Lady Colin Campbell lookalike doesn’t miss the jungle.
A Gaelic translator – so people can pronounce his name properly.
Work experience at The News. A career in the media beckons if he doesn’t fancy coaching.
A manicure. The Blues legend needed one to sort the blisters after a marathon session signing chief sports writer Neil Allen’s Played up Pompey book (still available at Amazon and all good book shops by the way...).
Ian ‘Moose’ Abrahams
A pie. The talkSPORT man doesn’t like the lack of food afforded the media at Fratton Park.
A box of pies – to throw at Abrahams..
A walk-on part in Zoolander 2. He is a bit of a pretty boy, after all...
A tub of Kalms. The former Cambridge United needed them after his very public meltdown following Pompey’s clash with Cambridge United in October.
A day off. The Pompey chief exec has made himself the most accessible CEO in the club’s recent history.
A referee’s kit. Well, he probably has one already but the Pompey fan had to do the fourth official’s job in jeans when he was pulled out of the crowd at Newport County.
A scarf. No matter the weather the PST vice chair is on the Trust bus behind the Fratton End each matchday – and it can be a wind tunnel there.
A joke book. The Pompey assistant kit man’s material is in desperate need of an update.
Have a very merry Christmas!